Good Comebacks

[hysteria]

Ok ok, i was wondering if anyone has any good comebacks because i'm having a fight with someone and i'm always left jarred :o

here's an example:

"next time ur washing ur neck...wring it"

very very lame but that's why i need help!! be creative :p

[twistedxxfate]

Nowadays, yo mama jokes are always good enough. :p

"Yo mama so fat, she sat on the rainbow and made skittles."

[xbabitriggerfingerx321]

^LMAO

yo mommas so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

[hysteria]

Haha... they're good!

oh the joys of mama jokes

[SenseiTari]

okay these are walking past ones(for bitches only lol):

you walk past a person you hate and scream then say "oh im sorry, im scared of cows"

then another one is when you walk past a person and sneeze and say "oh excuse me! im allergic to dogs"

oh and if someone says something mean to you like an opinoin e.g. "ohh i think FM sucks (this is an EXAMPLE!!LOL)" you say "if i wanted YOUR opinoin i would rather ask a piece of shit because i would get the same reply"

something like that lol

[hysteria]

cool! i'm getting replies! these comebacks r gold... LOL

[Lovejoy]

/end your magnificent arguement and they have no response

"I thank you" or alternatively, "Next time you argue with me, remember to take that stick out of your ass beforehand."

[JonandBT]

swivel on it.

[Fleaboy]

ask them "excuse me i was just wandering what you are going to do for a face when king kong asks for his butt back?"

[JonandBT]

ask them "excuse me i was just wandering what you are going to do for a face when king kong asks for his butt back?"
and they'll say "i'll give him your face back"

[Fleaboy]

and they'll say "i'll give him your face back"
most people aint that clever

[JonandBT]

most people aint that clever
you're a key example

[Fleaboy]

you're a key example
hmm who got into bristol university.....................

[JonandBT]

hmm who got into bristol university.....................
and who didn't apply there?

who explained to me that they got there through being an ethnic minority and their university needs to accept a certain number a year?

who just failed their exams?

[Fleaboy]

and who didn't apply there?

who explained to me that they got there through being an ethnic minority and their university needs to accept a certain number a year?

who just failed their exams?

ye its true i have no idea how i got into this uni was very flukey!!!!!

who didnt resit a year of A levels???

[Fleaboy]

ok apprently that was wrong

ye jon owns me

[JonandBT]

ok apprently that was wrong

ye jon owns me
Matty says:
my response "who didnt resist a year of A levels"
Matty says:
resit even
JoηandBT | http://forums.fortminor.com | ÀliaZ | The Ârtsangel | JC4 says:
i didn't resit a year of a levels
JoηandBT | http://forums.fortminor.com | ÀliaZ | The Ârtsangel | JC4 says:
i chose some other ones cause i didn't wanna do a course i didn't enjoy... you just owned yourself again
Matty says:
haha
Matty says:
well u still stayed a year
JoηandBT | http://forums.fortminor.com | ÀliaZ | The Ârtsangel | JC4 says:
*nods* i passed my a levels in a year
Matty says:
ok jon owns me
JoηandBT | http://forums.fortminor.com | ÀliaZ | The Ârtsangel | JC4 says:

Matty says:
*goes and hides and feels pathetic*

[hysteria]

and they'll say "i'll give him your face back"

then you can say "ok then thank god i can borrow ur face in the meantime, i dont know how ur going to go to the toilet though"

[hysteria]

then you can say "ok then thank god i can borrow ur face in the meantime, i dont know how ur going to go to the toilet though"




woopsies wrong thread! my bad :o

[hysteria]

no wait...yes it is, now i'm just confused

[RockerGoddess]

after explaining something to a person u hate and they don't seem to get it...say this

"Was that to much information for you to assimulate? Or don't you know what assimulate means? Look it up in the dictionary. It starts with A...S...S!"

[Lovejoy]

*heard this the other day from a friend*

"Never assume, because when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME."

[Rejuven8]

"Well at least i wasnt the one looking up stupid in the dictionary"

[xbabitriggerfingerx321]

"what starts with f and ends with u-c-k?"
<moments silence>
"firetruck!" :)

[Carter]

why dont you go outside and play hide and go f*** yourself.

[Blue Ruby]

Call your therapist, he gets paid to listen to your sh*t.

[JonandBT]

why dont you go outside and play hide and go f*** yourself.
hahahahhahahhahahaahhahahahahahahha*heard this the other day from a friend*

"Never assume, because when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME."
ain't that a bitch

[atomik_wolf]

how about a nice cup of shut the f*ck up.

[JonandBT]

i liked the trumpet in Bruce Almighty ;)

[XeroTh3T3ck]

i didnt know asses cant talk. one time i farted and my ass hellooooooooooo

[RockerGoddess]

after someone states the obvious...

"Wow! Did you figure that out all by yourself?"

[nodasteddybear]

"You should get a glass bellybutton, that way if you stick your head any farther up your ass, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is doing."


I <3 that one.

[RockerGoddess]

"You should get a glass bellybutton, that way if you stick your head any farther up your ass, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is doing."


I <3 that one.

That's a good one.

"Hey, your mayor called. They're missing their village idiot."

[Astat]

"your mom."

Seriously, it works like 90% of the time, even when it's a comeback to something completely irrelevant, haha.

[hysteria]

hahahahahahaha....i used assume one and she didnt get it, it was hilarious! :p

u guys are funny as

[xxjeannexx]

*raises eyebrow*



"no."

[hysteria]

*raises eyebrow*



"no."

:eek: hey hey now....

[atomik_wolf]

:eek: hey hey now....

we're the monkeys. and people say we like to monkey around.

[fearishowifall07]

"your mom."

Seriously, it works like 90% of the time, even when it's a comeback to something completely irrelevant, haha.

idk man, it USED to be good...overused now

[hysteria]

we're the monkeys. and people say we like to monkey around.

of course.......

[xxjeannexx]

we're the monkeys. and people say we like to monkey around.


"now" isnt in that song.

and its 'monkees'

:p

correct lyrics:

"hey hey we're the monkees and people say we monkey around,
but we're too busy singing to put anybody down"

:p

[RockerGoddess]

Avoid stupidty in large groups

[Astat]

idk man, it USED to be good...overused now

It still works if you drop it at the right time...otherwise you can take advantage of the fact that a guy you hate has a really hot sister, lmao. :p

[Carter]

"Jeez, youre a real f*** off"

[Sil.H]

the best answer is to be unresponsive, to pretend the person is sh*t under ur nose. it's killing.

[RockerGoddess]

the best answer is to be unresponsive, to pretend the person is sh*t under ur nose. it's killing.

yeah...or the "glance them over and dismiss them" look

[CobraCR724]

Yo momma so fat, when she sits around the house...she sits A R O U N D the house.

Yo momma hair so short, she can roll that shit with rice.

Yo momma underarm so funky she make Sure say "I dont know"

Yo momma so dirty, when she jump in the tub and the water jumps out

Yo momma so broke she gotta put White Castles on layaway.

Can't think of anymore right now, but Im the best at comebacks..trust.

and if you can't think of anything at the moment, tell them...fuck you and the hole you slithered out of.

Stop being a dick, dick!

Kiss my ass you chumpstain fucker!

Or just use the one that always kicks off the first punch...YO MOMMA BIATCH! :D

[RockerGoddess]

Yo momma so fat, when she sits around the house...she sits A R O U N D the house.

Yo momma hair so short, she can roll that shit with rice.

Yo momma underarm so funky she make Sure say "I dont know"

Yo momma so dirty, when she jump in the tub and the water jumps out

Yo momma so broke she gotta put White Castles on layaway.

Can't think of anymore right now, but Im the best at comebacks..trust.

Yo momma so stupid she buys pennys at JC Penny's.

[Crzycanadian]

"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart"

LMAO cracks me up every time

[CobraCR724]

Yo momma so stupid she buys pennys at JC Penny's.


HAHAHHA thats a good one!

[CobraCR724]

"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart"

LMAO cracks me up every time

classic! :D

[Lovejoy]

That's a good one.

"Hey, your mayor called. They're missing their village idiot."
I like that one, simple yet effective.

/end your magnificent arguement/comeback whatever and they're speechless,

"No further questions your honour!"

[Schitzoid]

After they spout of some inane argument:
I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, I was distacted by the smell of the complete bullshit you just presented me with.
OR
Next time you pull shit out of your arse, flush it.

Best used on those damn n00bs:
Y'know, most people lose control of their bowels. You seem to have lost control of your shift key.

When someone tells you to 'suck it', the most overused argument ever:
I'm sorry, I don't want your leftovers.

When someone tries to call you something nasty:
That's exactly what you asked me to call you last night! (remember to act shocked and amazed)

When you make them angry:
Woah, you sure look ugly when you're angry... actually it's a bit of an improvement.

When someone you don't like orders a burger:
I didn't know they served cows here. (pseudo-shocked face, making sure they know what you mean by 'cow')



That's all I can think of, I'm more of an 'on the spot' type of person.

[Lovejoy]

When someone tries to call you something nasty:
That's exactly what you asked me to call you last night! (remember to act shocked and amazed) I have on similar to that, but I usually repeat what they say to me in a thoughtful tone then say

"I'll have to remember that one for when I climb off your mum."

[Schitzoid]

I have on similar to that, but I usually repeat what they say to me in a thoughtful tone then say

"I'll have to remember that one for when I climb off your mum."
Nice, but I can't pull that one being a girl, saying it about someone's dad opens you up to a world of whoreisms.

[Lovejoy]

Ah yes, a slight complication ^_^

best avoid it in those circumstances then ;)

[fearishowifall07]

It still works if you drop it at the right time...otherwise you can take advantage of the fact that a guy you hate has a really hot sister, lmao. :p

true true..i've heard some pretty well-placed "your mom"s...but another one to try that i got partially started going at my school is "your grandma"

[Poison]

*heard this the other day from a friend*

"Never assume, because when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME."

Haha, thats a nice one.

[atomik_wolf]

"Never assume, because when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME."

That's an old engineer's quote as well. Something to keep in mind while you start guestimating distances for constructing bridges and stuff, and then 5 years later wonder why the bridge fell down.

[Lovejoy]

That's an old engineer's quote as well. Something to keep in mind while you start guestimating distances for constructing bridges and stuff, and then 5 years later wonder why the bridge fell down.
Guestimating, so I'm not the only one who uses it ^_^

[Schitzoid]

after explaining something to a person u hate and they don't seem to get it...say this

"Was that to much information for you to assimulate? Or don't you know what assimulate means? Look it up in the dictionary. It starts with A...S...S!"Add "just like your species" to that one, makes it a real bitch.

A friend's favourite for that girl with the bad weave:
The farmer called, he wants you to stop shaving his horses.
Or
The farmer called, the horse's tail is missing and it's been traced to you.
etc. etc.

[hysteria]

i think i broke a rib from laughing at all those comebacks! :p
we're not fighting anymore but they're a good way to piss off an enemy...lol

[caitlyn--]

Ok ok, i was wondering if anyone has any good comebacks because i'm having a fight with someone and i'm always left jarred :o

here's an example:

"next time ur washing ur neck...wring it"

very very lame but that's why i need help!! be creative :p
i have a few .. i was in a fight and they worked lol hm..
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my butt.

Yeah, yeah, keep talking, someday you might say something intelligent.
yeah i have more but hm yeah. :p

[xBrazucaChickx]

wow those comeback are really funny...i dont think i have any though,but i could finds some in bored.com :rolleyes: brb